so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
