Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
