Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
