In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
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You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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