There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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