i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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