no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
