bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
