is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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