I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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