Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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