i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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