You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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