Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize