I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
