so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
