just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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