Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just pee around me
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That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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