So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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