I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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