Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
