I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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