Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
