Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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