that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
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