Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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