So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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