I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
