Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
