8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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