non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
