It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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