a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize