I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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