THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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