Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
