I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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