do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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