im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
