wat bout pragnant strippers??
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
