i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
