I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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