I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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