got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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