so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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