My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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