we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
