The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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