I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
