...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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