There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
