I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
