How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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