bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
