So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.