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Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
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