i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
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It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ