I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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