Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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