I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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