Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
