I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize