I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
