i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Are my feet made of real feet?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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