I'm drive I can fine osifer
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
