i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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