We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
