Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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