i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize