Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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